


lunch breaks

by silvercobwebs



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 19:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvercobwebs/pseuds/silvercobwebs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter’s hand hovers over the chest of his newly-appeared dining companion. ‘So if I pushed you off this ledge right now,’ he muses, ‘just how long before you healed and came right back up again?’</p><p>‘Can I use the elevator?’ Deadpool asks as he shovels something smothered with onions that would give the FDA night-terrors into his mouth.</p><p>‘I suppose.’</p><p>Wade pauses mid-chew. ‘I’ll be honest with ya Spidey-boy. You’d probably have to skip dessert if you wanted to be certain you’d get away in time.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	lunch breaks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Guardian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian/gifts).



> This was going to be a drabble, then it rapidly got out of hand. 
> 
> For Dae, who requested bantery Spideypool with a mention of something particularly special to her… (I tried!)

Peter’s hand hovers over the chest of his newly-appeared dining companion. ‘So if I pushed you off this ledge right now,’ he muses, ‘just how long before you healed and came right back up again?’

‘Can I use the elevator?’ Deadpool asks as he shovels something smothered with onions that would give the FDA night-terrors into his mouth.

‘I suppose.’

Wade pauses mid-chew. ‘I’ll be honest with ya Spidey-boy. You’d probably have to skip dessert if you wanted to be certain you’d get away in time.’

‘I figured as much.’ Peter sighs dramatically and slowly lowers his hand, instead placing a straw to his lips. ‘I already miss out way too often on dessert. Guess you get a pass for now.’ He sucks, the last dregs of his soda unceremoniously dragged from the paper cup with a loud ‘shhhhlrrrp’.

He’s sitting on the ledge of the roof of the Baxter building, eating a hotdog with Deadpool. With _Deadpool_ , who is currently trying to steal his ‘let’s go wild and have almost an entire meal’ Tuesday Treat Sundae. They’re both in costume, and they’re both probably considering jumping off the building for the fun of it, and the only weird factor here is that they’re not fighting. ‘Find classier lunch dates’, Peter hastily scrawls on the mental wall of Post-Its he has (mostly) neatly scattered around his mind.

‘So who hired you this time/’ Peter asks. ‘If it’s another C-lister jerk then I’m just going to have to pity you. After I’ve finished pummelling the snot outta you, I mean,’ and he smirks.

‘Spidey Spidey Spidey…’ Wade tuts as he somehow manages to devour a whole ‘dog in three obscene bites. ‘You’re such a Suspicious Sally! I was in the area. Can’t a dude check up on his pal and occasional team-up buddy every once in a while?’

Peter crumples up the wrapper and eyes the little plastic spoon nestled in his rapidly-melting ice-cream. ‘No, not really.’ He nearly jumps reaching for it when he realises just how close they’re sitting to each other, almost bumping his nose into Wade’s chin. Whoa there. Now that was a little too close for comfort He blinks and swallows for a moment, but Wade doesn’t seem to have noticed anything. Peter coughs and leans back on his heels. ‘If this is your idea of friendship, Wilson, I’d hate to think how you act around your enemies. I’m guessing there’s probably not a Hallmark card and a fruit basket involved.’

‘It’s just some good-natured rough-housing, Spidey!’ Wade cheerily asserts, licking the grease from his lips. ‘All the greats have the banter shtick! Not to mention UST, wacky opposing worldviews, pert butts… it’s practically mandatory. We’re like Mulder and Scully - ‘

‘Urgh. Too ’90s.’

‘JD and Turk-‘

‘I am _not_ your chocolate bear.’ Peter snorts.

‘Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?’ What? Those trotting glue factories are fuckin’ _awesome_.’

Peter cocks his hand and extends a hand to a now confused Deadpool, who automatically takes it.

‘Congratulations,’ Peter says, giving the hand a firm shake. ‘I now no longer know when you are serious or just trolling the hell outta me.’ Peter’s gaze drifts to their entwined hands. ‘You can let go now. No, _now_.’

Wade looks entirely too pleased with himself as he reluctantly lets go of a Spiderman who’s trying to extricate his hand from an unnaturally strong grip. Not that he’s into the whole hand-holding thing or anything like that. He just likes annoying the kid is all. Maybe he likes that little exasperated noise he makes, half tut, half a clicking of his tongue and the way his expression is beginning to soften from annoyed bewilderment to slightly less annoyed, mildly amused bewilderment. Hey, it’s allowed! Admiring cute faces (especially lips, oh boy are those lickable lips) is a totally manly thing to do with your not-quite enemy.

Wait. Is Spidey staring? Wade reaches to pull down his mask but long fingers encircle his wrist in a firm hold. He really hopes the kid didn’t notice the automatic flinch, and wonders why his fist hasn’t connected with Spidey’s nose yet. Must be a slow synapse day.

‘Uh, so you’ve got a little something on your face-’ Peter begins, noticing a smear of mustard on Wade’s uncovered cheek. The rest of the mask stays on as usual, only revealing as little flesh as possible. It’s stupid, Peter thinks. Wade covers his face because he wants to hide what he considers the ugliest parts of himself from the world. Peter covers his own for exactly the opposite reason.

‘Nah, s’just my face,’ Wade shrugs and Peter rolls his eyes, which would be much more effective if his face wasn’t half covered too.

‘Not like that, dummy. Something that shouldn’t be-. I mean… Aw, c’mon!’ he protests, grabbing a fresh napkin with his free hand. ‘Leave some cheap shots for me too. It’s no fun if you get in there first.’ He carefully leans in – waaay in – to Wade’s personal space. It’s a dangerous move, he knows, but Deadpool hasn’t tried anything yet, and Peter’s in the mood for going with his gut. Or his belly, technically. Maybe even his heart – hell – any vital organ except for his brain.

Wade looks as if he’s ready to bolt when Peter’s hand makes contact with his flesh, but he manages to stay, and starts making awful self-depricatory jokes that seem to be able to twist up Peter’s insides into one messy little package.

‘Nah. I’ve seen worse,’ Peter says with unbearable honesty, his gaze unwavering. ‘But seriously though, it’s kinda severely bugging me,’ He loosens his grip and with one finger he tips up Wade’s chin whilst the other gently wipes away any trace of the condiment. Peter’s touch lingers a little longer than necessary, and Wade is still, ridiculously still. A hand ghosts over a roughened patch of flesh and Wade shivers. ‘It’s not an OCD thing exactly,’ Peter’s voice is suddenly different, softer, as he confesses. ‘I just like a little order in the middle of my regularly scheduled chaos.’ They both smile at the bad joke and then Peter’s hands have disappeared again, and suddenly Wade feels far, far too exposed. He tugs the mask back down.

‘Thanks Mom.’ Wade drawls, but Spidey offers no equally sarcastic reply, and the butterflies in Wade’s stomach (no, not butterflies. Way manlier fluttery things like bats or winged ninjas) are having little panic attacks, because he suddenly feels like he needs to hurl, or run, or dance a merry jig or something. ‘Well, it’s been fun ‘n all Spidey,’ Wade’s words are rushed as reality floods back in and he staggers back to his feet eyeing the nearest exit. ‘but I can’t just sit here super-bromancing all afternoon. Not when there’s that uh, that… incredibly relevant plot detail slash excuse that I’m still working on in order to-‘

‘Good-bye, Wade,’ says Peter as he pulls down his mask and stands. He tugs on a fresh line of webbing before looking back. ‘Same time next week? It’ll give you time to work on an actual witty comeback.’ He doesn’t wait for a reply. ‘Good.’ And with a jump he’s gone.

Wade walks back to the ledge and peers over. ‘Hey, did I just get asked out on a date by Spiderman? Cool!’ He pauses and brushes a finger over covered features before shaking his head in disbelief.

‘I am so freaking _terrified_.’

His smile broadens.

-end


End file.
